Embark on a journey with this artist from Canada

I’ve been so tentative to take a step forward as an artist because I haven’t found my 'niche'.

Who am I?  Good question.  I have no idea, I’m still trying to figure that out.  I’ve spent the last year or so trying to analyse what kind of artist I am,  and what I represent.  It has been incredibly deep and depressing to think about and I am no closer to resolution now, then when I initially decided to announce my artistic “rebirth”.

The only way I can answer that honestly, is to state simply… I am me.  I have discovered that I like who I am (most days), even if I’m unable to place a label on myself.  I’m not interested in fixing my flaws, nor viewing them as such, but rather to learn more about the things that affect and influence my world.

Sometimes I feel so bombarded with messages that I need to “improve” on who I am, because who I am isn’t good enough. It is a message that seems to be drilled into everyone relentlessly by the media, obviously in an effort to increase product sales or to prey upon that weakness increasing entertainment ratings. It’s all consuming and overwhelming.

I’ve reached the crux where I’m saying “fuck it”, I’m done.  It’s time to move on. There are so many things out there that I want to learn about and I feel like I’m wasting my time trying to work on my social skills, dealing with my emotions as convention tells me I should, or evaluating & reevaluating my approach to difficult situations to make them comfortable.

I’ve been so tentative to take a step forward as an artist because I haven’t found my “niche”.  I enjoy a variety of things and it’s difficult to categorize them in such a way to be successful as an artist, or so I’m told.

Anyhow, I have resolved to stop soul searching and just start. So to some, this site may feel disjointed which (with all truthfulness) reflects my thought process.  My approach is to treat this as my journal, documenting my artistic journey and to do my best at presenting it with all the elegance and sincerity that i can.

Self Portrait :, compressed charcoal, willow charcoal on stonehenge.

There is a part of me that has been thinking about taking myself to the unedited version of art - as in, "this is me". It's one thing to face that shit in the mirror, but a whole other story to follow through. It can be terrifying because you open your raw self up to criticism and that can hurt, whereas an edited piece has a level of detachment that protects the artist from bruising.

This is me!

Opening up and writing about my work has been a difficult journey. I have always excelled at academic writing. My English teachers and instructors kept a keen eye on my work, yielding my final university level English at 99%. Writing from my own perspective, blog style, is an entirely different entity and I’m still learning how to do this successfully.

Writing academically, one can distance themselves emotionally from the topic. However, being honest and writing about my work is not something I can hide behind thick skin. What I felt I should have been able to execute within a few hours, actually took a couple of months to complete because I didn’t factor in the emotional investment.

None the less, it was necessary to journey through some of my previous work in order to move forward as an artist. I feel like I haven’t been able to take pride in my work so far because, by choosing the career path I did, I haven’t honoured the education that I worked so hard for.

I know have a lot of work ahead of me this year to get where I want to be, but I’m looking forward to the next chapter because I’ve received a tremendous amount of supportive feedback from my social media family already.

Back and Forth :, acrylic paint, india ink on stonehenge.
Goodbye Dear Friend :     24Wx30Hin, acrylic paint on canvas.
Scion :, acrylic paint, book pages, collage on canvas.
A Beautiful Mind :, acrylic, oil, gesso, collage on canvas board.